Not Just Alive. Living

 

 



Following up on Monday's Music Post.  I mentioned that there was an event in my life that reminded that I am alive.  But I needed to be more than alive.  I needed to live.

That event was the passing of the woman I was married to.  It was a long and difficult illness that finally took it's toll.  It didn't just take it's toll on her though, it took a toll on everyone in her family.  After it was over, I remembered I am alive.  But after years I saw that I was with a woman who was alive, but didn't get to live.

I made a vow to live.

There are lots of things people do to live, or to feel alive, or however you wish to phrase it.  Some people enjoy the thrill of skydiving (I'm not on that list).  Some enjoy scaling sheer rock walls, pushing their strength to it's limits.  Some enjoy straight forward exercise, feeling the exertion of the muscles.

I could go on and on with thoughts about what people do to live, or what they do to avoid living (getting stoned is an escape from living - in my opinion), or what people do that is just getting by (neither living, nor escaping from living).

I chose to get a new motorcycle (not the one pictured above, that one is my 2nd motorcycle).  I had never ridden a motorcycle before.  I really didn't know what I was doing.  But I learned.  I picked it up quick.  In my motorcycle safety course (filled with people like me who were riding for the first time), I was at the top of my class with handling the motorcycle.  I'm not saying that to be bragging or overconfident.  It's just that I was willing to push some of my limits, and yet kept the bike under my control.  I felt comfortable, and quickly become confident.

The motorcycle became my way to live.   I somehow become a part of the machine, and just ride.  I keep an eye around me, and know my surroundings.  I take care of me, and I take care of my bike.  I ride, and I feel the closer to the world around me.

I found a way to live.  I intend to live.